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Everybody would like to meet that special someone, but the truth is it can be very difficult to learn how to ask someone out on a date. We often get so absorbed by our own insecurities that we become our own worst enemy, even to the point where we fail to pick up signals when a woman is genuinely interested. The good news is that learning how to interact comfortably with people is a skill that will help you not only with dating but with every aspect of your personal life. In this article, we'll explore some tactics you can apply to help you learn how to get a date.
Why Can Getting A Date Be Difficult?
There is nothing more terrifying than the fear of rejection. When you make yourself vulnerable, you set yourself up for pain that can be tough to overcome. The anticipation of rejection can make you appear timid and awkward which leads to more rejection which becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is an essential part of how to get a date, so it's important to learn to find something positive every time you ask for a date. It's the same concept as interviewing for a job. Just because you don't get the job doesn't mean you stop interviewing or that there's something wrong with you. You learn, and you try again.
What To Avoid
Before you ever attempt to approach anyone, make sure you've done everything you can to improve your odds of acceptance. You wouldn't go into a job interview with a dirty T-shirt and a pair of flip-flops, and you shouldn't try to get a date without making an effort to look and act your best. Some changes are habits you have to develop over time, but there are some changes you can make today that will greatly improve your chances of getting a date. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
Poor Personal Hygiene
This may sound obvious, but it is by far the most important thing to keep in mind when learning how to get a date. You must be clean. You must wear clean clothing. You must be well-groomed. You must smell good. Women are more sensitive to bad smells than men, and if you smell bad, you are not getting a date. The good news is that you're not being rejected for you, you're being rejected for the way you smell, and that can be fixed.
Bad smells go beyond the clothes you are wearing at the moment you ask for a date. You have to make sure that the car you drive is clean. Don't leave fast-food wrappers in the back that start to stink when you park your vehicle in the sun. Make sure your house is clean so you don't absorb bad odors there. If you come to pick up a date in a car that smells bad, chances are the date will not end well. Put a stick of deodorant in your backpack and reapply throughout the day. If you aren't clean and you don't smell good, you have zero chance of getting a date.
Yes, it's true, women can often strike you dumb with their beauty and sometimes you feel if you don't make a move you'll regret it for the rest of your life. But, the fact is, you always have to cultivate an awareness of when it's socially appropriate to ask someone for a date. Never ask for a date when doing so might make the woman feel uncomfortable or threatened. The good news is, that by focusing on another person's comfort, you have something to think about other than your own insecurities or nervousness.
For example, don't follow somebody or approach them from behind. Don't tap a woman on the shoulder. Instead, make eye contact from a distance and see if there is any interest before you make a move. Look for a shy smile or a gesture that grants permission to approach. Also, learn that if she's clearly not interested in you, it's best to move on to somebody else.
Don't Overreact To Rejection
If a woman declines your overture, you need to find something positive in the experience. Learn to understand that a rejection is not a negative thing. You saw a chance; you took it; it didn't work out, but, you can be pleased that you learned something from the interaction. Say, "Okay, you have a great day," and walk away. You are never going to change a woman's mind by unleashing a tirade of insults. If you put her at ease after a rejection, maybe the next time you cross paths with her, she might be more open to your company. However, you should not approach again until she gives you a clear signal to do so.
Treat Women With Respect
Television and movies present a problematic model for how to get a date. Confidence is very important, but there is a big difference between being confident and simply being rude. Do not think you can learn how to get a date by watching James Bond movies. Try not to be focused on yourself. Ask her questions, show that you are interested in her, and compliment her on what she's wearing. If she's in the middle of a stressful workday, wait until a moment when she might be more open to an invitation or try to help ease her stress. Focusing on the whole situation helps increase your chances.
Don't Put A Wedding Dress On Everyone You Meet
It's important to remember that you will have a relationship with every woman you approach. Some of those relationships will end when the woman says, "no thank you, I don't want to go out on a date." Some relationships will be one date. Some will be many dates. Some relationships will last weeks or months or years. A relationship is an opportunity to get to know somebody, and during that process, you might find that the two of you aren't a good match. This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Don't add pressure to your initial approach by daydreaming about how many children you'll have together.
Don't use them. Every woman has heard the same old pick up lines a thousand times. Learn how to start up a natural conversation and see if you can create a connection. If you feel some sort of a connection within the first few moments of talking to a woman, chances are she will be interested in going on a date with you. If there is no connection, you wouldn't have a good time on the date, so don't even ask (unless you want some practice). Cheesy pick-up lines you get off the internet will only make you look like a creep.
Tips On How To Get A Date
There are a few things you can do to improve your chances of getting a date. Self-examination is an empowering way to improve your dating success because it allows you to make yourself better in a productive, positive way. If you become committed to self-improvement, you'll make yourself more attractive, and you'll begin to feel better about yourself. This will improve every aspect of your life, make you more confident, and bring you personal satisfaction. Focus on the things you can control, and you will eventually get a date. Frustration only sets in when you continue to fail using the same ineffective tactics.
Look Your Best
Take the time to purchase some nice outfits. You don't have to break the bank, but get some clothing that looks good. Get a nice haircut and pay attention to your grooming. Before you go out, look at yourself in the mirror. If you know you look good, you will feel more confident, and that will make it easier to start a conversation.
Go To The Gym
Many people feel a lack of confidence because they don't believe they are attractive. You can't do anything about the bone structure of your face, but you can work out in the gym and get yourself in good shape. You don't have to aspire to become Dwayne Johnson, but workout regularly. It will relax you and make you feel better about yourself. People will start to notice.
Practice Talking With Strangers
Make an effort to start casual conversations wherever you go. If you're at the library, ask the librarian how her day is going. Talk with every cashier as you pay for your items. Try to make a joke and get them to laugh. At first, it will be difficult, but as you practice for a while, it will become easier. It's important to develop a kind of muscle memory to maintain a conversation with somebody you just met. If you practice with people you have no interest in dating, it will be a lot easier to start a conversation, even with the additional pressure of physical attraction.
Ask A Favor
A good way to break the ice is to ask a favor. If you see a woman you are interested in, approach her and ask her if there is a good restaurant nearby. Be sure to approach her from the front, and be sure that she's in a well-lit place so you don't appear threatening. Once you've begun a conversation, be sure to ask questions, and don't focus on yourself. If it seems like there is chemistry, thank her for her kindness and ask if she'd be interested in joining you at the restaurant. If she agrees, congratulations! You've just asked a woman on a date!
Learning How To Get A Date Is A Great Adventure
The most difficult way to get a date is to cross paths with a person in a public place, walk up to them and ask. You'll have much more success with people you know from school, clubs, work, etc. However, the trick in any of these scenarios is to take the initiative and make an approach. If you take care of yourself and don't do anything to make the other person feel uncomfortable, you will get a date. Learning how to get a date is a fundamental component to human interaction. Congratulate yourself on every rejection, because those rejections help you learn how to achieve success. With a commitment to self-improvement, you will eventually find that special someone. Good luck!